"And there was Kane, proudly, at the top, touching the sky which he himself forged. I also met Kane, no matter who I am, I can not answer your question, no one would have to be Kane himself for it. I was there that day in the theater. I should have seen, Kane, we all wanted to see, no matter what he said, applauded anything. I remember like it was yesterday, him on stage, confident, knowing winner, dragging everyone into a frenzy of irrational optimism that if there was not a reflection of his own desire, because that was Kane, ambition, anxiety, do not ask me why, maybe that answers your question, perhaps looking for that ... how do you say? ... Ah, yes, Rosebud.
"I remember there was a huge portrait of Kane with his name behind him on stage, none of these seemed excessive, in contrast, was the picture of the arrogance of Kane, and that was precisely what we wanted. Kane wanted to, we needed to Kane. There were all: those who saw in him everything that we could never reach, who saw in it the measure of our frustrations ... and there he was, doing everything possible rescuing all of our dull existences, making players feel, what? Now I know that it was his desire, a desire never satisfied, actors were required for the tragedy of his life, a tragedy that he insisted on writing, directing, starring ... so was Kane, and thus succumbed. Nobody could believe what was found the next day, and yet ended up being an ending as predictable as Kane himself. Could have prevented, perhaps, but this should have been someone else. So I decided to go ahead, knowing that it would crash like a child clinging to a toy that you know is not yours, yes, that is, as a child. You know, I think Kane was all his life that a child, someone who has not yet learned to resign. Business, politics, people also, we all had toys in the hands of Kane, ended toys that do not meet, which broke when he did not like. Do not think any came to fill at all, at least none with whom he played more. "Rosebud? I do not know, what can be, I regret not helping. By the way, how do you know Kane said that when they die? ... Hey! I have not answered, where do you go? "
Power has its toll, and the error of Kane was perhaps not want to pay them all. Unable to wield power - real power-and at the same time be the object of focus. Can not be the lead actor and move the wires yourself. If you are in the front row, they tell you you have to do, and if you say what needs to be done, should not be seen, otherwise one is just carrying clubs that they may correspond to another. Of course, Kane was a kid, someone who got rid of his first toy, which looked at everything that undertook the fulfillment of a childhood that, despite everything, always eventually fade, and that at best is enclosed in a crystal ball, something that we can grasp in a last moment. Other, more prosaic, and no less manipulative, know the background to fill a need to know if what you want is power.
Envisioning again the scene of the rally, I was struck both times it appears Joseph Cotten. In the first, his face serious, perhaps glimpse the danger and the extent of the ambition of someone like Kane. In the second, the expression of concern has been cleared and appears possessed by the unthinking enthusiasm invades the present, a moment of clarity that is lost. The important thing is not having it, if not retain it.
Valencia, Tuesday 20 March. As I emerge from a well after several days of giddiness, and with a hangover more or less real, more or less fictional. The wind has erased everything, leaving the city, and myself as before, or almost. PD
What is left? Ghosts of wars past and present. And without them what would they be? Nothing, and they know it.
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